


LUIGI: The Gainful

by LezzlesTheBrave



Category: LISA (Video Games), Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, LISA: The Painful - Freeform, squirrel jerky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 21:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17732711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LezzlesTheBrave/pseuds/LezzlesTheBrave
Summary: A LISA: The Painful oneshot adventure following Luigi, as we see him in the Joy Factory Village in Area 1. The lean and green man finds himself roaming around Olathe for some jerky, only to make a friend along the way.





	LUIGI: The Gainful

_Sunrise, red on the ground and no sound around_. The brothers sat on a precipice before their token exotic dancer, who swung himself around on a table. Luigi and Mario, not caring for the Beehive boy in front of them, adjusted their gaze towards the landscape. The clear skies and warm clusters of cliffs did nothing to ease the pain the years had brought them. Placed just high enough their rocky chateau for the clear air to not thin, Luigi took a deep breath. Sitting for hours on small wooden stools did not change their amount of discomfort, whether it be the pain of their hearts or of their bottoms.  _Was there anything left in this world to gain?_  He and his brother watched on as a beaten and bald bumbling figure made his way up to them. He crawled out of a cave only to fall, getting up with a distant look in his eyes. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for him to reach them. Introductions were spared. Mario, always slightly ahead of his kin, was first to talk. He huffed out his words as part of a cathartic act.

“Everyone left to go after that girl. I used to be like that… Chasing women… One woman actually… Sneaky cheating bitch,” told the ex-plumber, not changing his hardened expression, “Woo!”

Luigi shifted in his seat to take a look at the dark-bearded man. He brought himself to speak to the stranger, hoping his words contained a bit of wisdom: “I fucking hate my life, and everyone hates me... I’ve found peace knowing this.”

 _Why bother saying these things?_ he thought to himself, astonished by how bitter he had sounded. He was always the shy one, always the second, the alternative choice; and there was no problem with it. Luigi had been a cheerful youth, growing into his mustache with a smile kept clean under it. It had seemed after all the years past, only two people really mattered to him. At the very least, the grief that came with losing his beloved Daisy was shared. In that moment, Luigi stopped thinking of himself to notice the bald man had left. In his place, came a grumbling noise. _No…_ Luigi trembled at the thought of another mutant nearing him, only to realize the trembling and growls came from his stomach. Its calls were answered.

“Treat yourself to some jerky, bro!” shouted Mario across the table while fiddling his poncho pockets, “Not that I have any left…”

Luigi, having no hope in Mario’s dregs, made his way up towards the shopkeep. His small store was just beyond a set of six ropes, spread throughout the cliff edges. A few climbable strings were nothing on Luigi’s old jumping days. Not that he worked on his biceps as much as his thighs. Luigi stood in front his shopkeep, decked in a cheerier, lime-ier green.

“What do you mean you sold everything?” interrogated Luigi with furrowed brows and newly-found frown.

“I sold it all to some bald guy,” stated the shopkeep, “I thought you saw him coming.”

Luigi did not bother to reply, though his stomach did. Another growl, and he made he returned to his brother. “I’m on my way, Bro! There’s nothing left for us here.”

“Mama Mia!” extorted Mario, “Just make sure to bring me something on the way back. I’m not letting my mags go to waste here.” Mario gestured to his dancing male companion.

Luigi left right away, passing just above awkward acquaintance and local lunatic Mad Dog, who kept to himself on the lower ledges of the village. As Luigi exited the first cave he entered, he found himself face to face with… _Where is his face?_ The man hovering him stood tall like the walls of a steel-fortified building; he was adorned with a red skull mask and kept apart only by a small gap between the cliff ledges.

"Lost your way?" Luigi broke the silence, yearning to quickly make his way through and grab some lunch.

"N-no. I'm looking for someone,” said the man, his mask slightly lifting with each word. His voice was weak and quivered its way through the gaps of his bold guise, as though a troubled boy was trapped beneath its worn facade.

"The girl? Everybody is!” Luigi was starting to lose patience.

"Y-yes...I am here to protect… h-her. I-I need to go to the Men's Hair Club...s-she needs me."

Luigi couldn't help but wonder if he was referring to the girl or someone else he had in mind. He raised a brow at the thought of a man not wanting a piece of the girl for his own twisted, lustful reasons. He did not linger on his disbelief, replacing it with hope. "You...you're not like the other guys? Well, that's fine with me! I just might show you around.” Luigi briskly hopped over the gap between him and the cloaked stranger, bumping into his wide chest. “Oof!”

“S-sorry...”

“Not a problem!” exclaimed Luigi before starting to explain the surroundings, “This cave I come from leads to my village; there’s nothing left to munch on there. Let me know where you keep your food, and I’ll show you where the Club is...please?”

The man said nothing but shifted around, like a butterfly preparing to escape its chrysalis. Out of the black shell popped a broad palm, holding eight bags of rations. “I h-hope this is enough.”

“This will do, friend!” Luigi’s smile grew wider than the hairs above it could cover, “It’s-a go time!” Luigi jumped over a stone to turn around and introduce himself more properly, “I don’t like to give my name to strangers. But they call me Luigi!”

The hefty figure followed the green poncho’d man, stepping on top of rocks as they broke beneath his weight. He was unsure how to respond to him. “Do you really not know who I am?”

“I don’t socialize much.”

“I understand...I’m called Rando...”

The two trotted on upwards when Luigi halted, “These crazy guys never leave!” Some feet away, below them, was an army of men hurling themselves in crimson containers. “Barrel Brothers, we meet again…” Luigi descended the crag to watch their patterns more closely. Rando kept quiet, questioning how they were a major threat.

“W-we can just walk pas-”

“Let’s get this started!” Luigi excitedly approached his enemies. He flew over his first barrel in months and turned around to look at Rando, “It’s a trick my brother taught me.”

Rando was not one to hurdle, he had no need to. The barrelers would stop in their tracks before him, those who did not would violently crash into his pectorals. Some shook in their barrels, upon recognizing his mask.

Luigi jumped above few more Barrel Bros. before stopping to realize some were fleeing from him. He wondered if they were really scared of him. _Who knew hurdling could be so heroic?_ Luigi looked behind him to see how his new friend was fairing. A heap of leftover helmets and barrels thrown around him made it clear who the real fear-reaper was. Luigi shook off his awe, he had seen stranger things. He pondered on,  _how could anyone think a cute small mask was so scary?_ He could see a towering steel building a few yards away, getting larger as they drew closer.

One more mighty foe stood in their way. Unlike his kin, his complexion was green and cheeks puffy. Upon nearing him, he did not fight and only uttered the words: “OoooOOOoooh God. I can’t keep doing this...”

 _Well, that was easy._  Luigi sped his way through the rest of the path, clear from any more encounters. The footing below him smoothed and there were no more ropes to climb. “Phew. Made it,” Luigi arched his back and placed his hands on his hips in victory. Just ahead of him and his comrade loomed the Joy Factory. The dusty ground was covered in various footprints; a few men sat on them with their backs to the walls. Graffiti in an array of black, white, yellow and red added character to the cold grey barriers. Freshly broken glass should have meant there was something worth finding inside.  _But why was no one trying to get in now?_

Rando and Luigi walked up to a man, shirtless and resting on the hard ground. He glanced up at them and looked away to mutter: “Didn’t you hear? The other guys left. I came for the drinks anyway.” He bellowed a lengthy burp and closed his eyes.

“Hear what?” asked Luigi.

The man didn’t open his eyes, “Oh, the girl was a sham. Some lardy guy that left with one other fat baldy, was dingling these keys in his hand like he just won himself a truck.”

“I-I’ll leave you here, friend,” murmured Rando, leaning away. He gave a final nod, preparing to vacate.

Looking at Rando, Luigi found himself believing masks could not hide secret intents and motives. Behind the skull was a thin glimmering stream.  _Whoa, he’s crying._ Rando dragged his cape away in retreat. His head hung down, solemn, as Luigi waved at him. He had not noticed his farewell by the time he’d enter another cave. Luigi stood there, numb to loss, enjoying the novelty of his experiences. _Guess the bar don’t sound so bad. A drink to pair well with Rando’s rations_.

Luigi shuffled his way into the factory, glancing another time at the letters above the doors, “BAR”.  _Very convincing._  It had been months since he ventured himself to this part of Olathe, and never found himself walking into the building. Barrel Bros. made sure his interest in traveling was wavered before he could set foot in front of the factory.  _Goodie, maybe they’ll finally leave me alone._ Luigi glossed over the day’s events as he dragged his feet through the metal grey doorway. He sat himself inside, ready to order his favorite spirits, so often used to battle ghosts of the past. This time it was different; boredom was another beast of burden. He balanced in his rickety stool, wobbling back and forth.  _And just some years ago I’d sat on a throne, cradling a real princess._

“Lotsa guys lookin’ like you came in here,” started the bartender, “Enterin’ to meet with a girl, only to have their heart broken like the first time their wife left ‘em. Not that I would know.”

Luigi watched him silently, processing the smell of hairspray and melodies of sighing men. His voice was as gruff as his expression, his long nose leading to a frown. He was hairless, not much unlike the first stranger Luigi had met that morning. His dark skin set him apart from others. What hair he lacked on his head, he made up for above his lip.  _A mustached brother._

“So, what’ll you ‘ave?” asked the bartender, his hairs tickling his nose as his breathed the words out, “Got plenty of soft drinks left, if you don’t think you can handle the Potato Liquor.”

“Oh, I can handle it,” Luigi began, handing out a few mags, “Let’s-a go!”

Hours later, in his own purgatory, Mario withheld his anxious twitching and sat still to watch the sun say goodbye. His exotic entertainer had left him when he ran out of magazines.  _It’s been one of those days... Come on, Luigi!_  Mario stretched and mumbled to himself prior to plopping down the cliff’s side: “Just where did that boy go…”

He’d notice his good friend and local psychopath Mad Dog had left him.  _When did that happen?_  Mario shrugged off the thought of him to exit the village. In just a few seconds, he found himself being greeted by a warmer and less sober Luigi, clinging to the cave walls. Mario opened his arms wide to embrace his brother and help steady his drunken strides. “Guess I know what you’ve been up to, huh?” Finding drunkards in Olathe was not unusual, but seeing them smiling was another story.

Luigi brushed off stray tears and grinned through his next choice of wise words: “I fucking hate my life, but I guess not everyone hates me.”


End file.
